Decadent cake and grief
Plus vigilante action heroes and i hate the Internet
At 56, you'd think a man would own a cake tin. But for the better part of five years, I've championed the sugar-free life. Before that, I was too absorbed in eating cakes to bother baking them.
Yet, here I am, haunted by the siren call of chocolate cake, the Matilda-like kind that oozes waterfalls of chocolate ganache.
This isn't just about the sensory infusion of cocoa and sugar. It's deeper, rooted in raw emotion and tinged with nostalgia and sorrow. As a kid, I spent invaluable hours with my stepfather Barry, crafting chocolate Victoria sponge cakes and licking the K-beater of a classic 1950s Kenwood Chef. Those moments have solidified in my mind like the caramel layer in a millionaire's shortbread.
If you are new around here, Barry passed away earlier this year after we spent a loving year caring for him. The man was a culinary wizard, arguably creating the best chilli con carne north of the equator. His presence has loomed large in my thoughts lately.
In the '70s, Barry transformed our kitchen into a haven. We baked, we cooked, or we watched my mom prepare industrial amounts of apple pie for the local Berni Inn in our hometown of Kidderminster.
When I think of chocolate cake, I'm navigating the forgotten alleyways of my childhood. So evocative are these memories I found myself acquiring a brand-new Kenwood Mixer. It is a beautiful machine, yet hazardous in the wrong hands. As I unpacked it, I felt like I was handling contraband. It sits quietly in my kitchen cupboard, whispering lullabies to me.
Yesterday, the cake-baking beast escaped from the trunk I’d locked it in five years ago. I bought a pallet knife and a wire cooling rack from Sainsburys. I stocked up on cocoa powder, flour, and room-temperature unsalted butter. I got double cream and, in a moment of self-destructive rebellion, fuck it, I bought a kilogram of granulated sugar.
Oh, the irony. Especially when you consider that my book, "Downsizing," all about reining in unhealthy habits, is presently on sale in Amazon's Kindle store for 99p; if you want to put diabetes in remission, I recommend reading it. Spoiler: it doesn't feature a single chocolate cake recipe.
If you want to develop type two diabetes, a good place to start would be in my kitchen this morning. I even bought a cake tin for it, though it won’t be there for long.
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Watching
The Equalizer (Netflix), The Equalizer Two (Amazon Prime), The Equalizer Three (cinema)
At nearly 70, Denzel Washington is pushing it to be an action hero, particularly the murderous and clinically violent vigilante kind seen in The Equalizer. I like the pathos of the films, though, and Equalizer Three is easily the best in the series. The cinematography on Sicily is beautiful, and the macabre killing is very well choreographed!
After the Arnie binge, I’ve moved to Denzel Washington. So, I’ve watched every Equalizer movie in a week. I also watched Roman J. Israel, Esq., but it was hard work, and as Mr. Washington has a repertoire considerably more extensive than Arnie’s, I’m unsure if I can bag all 50 or so of his movies. I’ll give it a go and keep you posted.
Listening
i Hate the Inter-net by Jarett Kobek on Audible. This polemical “bad novel” reaches the satirical heights of literary genius. If you believe that cultural malaise preempts political collapse, then I recommend this book.
Reading
Mail Online. Well, only the news that Jamie is leaving UK Music. I chair the organisation, and Jamie has been our esteemed chief executive for nearly three years. I am immensely proud of him. At a young age, he has been hand-picked by the Prime Minister to be Director of Strategy at Number 10. He will change the country for the better one day and though he is a political opponent, I know he has the country's best interests in his heart.
I appreciate your friendship, Jamie. Be all you can be - and that’s a hell of a lot.
If quoting from this newsletter, please mention “Tom Watson’s newsletter on Substack.” Thank you.
I like the Denzel Equalizer films but Edward Woodward will forever be The Equalizer in my heart.